Electrons rotate around the Nucleus

In my study of Quantum theory I read again and again that electrons exist in a 'cloud'. A field of probability. I believe this to be partially incorrect. I say that the electron rotates around the nucleus just like planets around the sun. The electron moves so fast that it appears to exist in a probability field. We have no technology capable of measuring the movement of these particles because they move so fast.

Screw the Economy!

I am so sick and tired of hearing all this crap about the economy! The friggin thing ebbs and flows just like bodies of water. Sometimes its high tide sometimes low. Sometimes there is a flood. Sometimes drought.

Did anyone ever consider that maybe we don't need to buy so much crap anyway! All of the modern world seems to revolve around buying and spending. Its a shame that the primary way people interact in this day and age is through money. That denotes a pretty shallow culture. I hate being labeled a consumer. As if my only purpose in existance is to consume. By this logic it would only seem that my value as a human is based primarily on my ability to consume. You know what happens when people consume too much? They get fat. Then what? They get a slew of illness like high blood pressure, diabetes, cancer, etc... The parrellel I am drawing here is between eating and buying. What good is having a bunch of crap you never use? It is only an obsession to distract people from things of real value or from actually being conscious beings. Sure, lets just watch hours of television every day and get spoon fed the latest crap and not think for ourselves. Let's drink cola and buy the latest retarded gadget that someone only invented to make money. The thing winds up being crap anyway and God forbid you throw it out! Wouldn't want to be wasteful! So the thing goes in the closet right next to the flowbee.

Rest assured the problem isn't lack of money. It is only a problem of distribution. Someone has some money! When will the exploitation end? When will people learn that greed doesn't pay off? I am positive that anyone who hoards wealth that they 'earned' through selfish endeavors only winds up miserable. A certain fraction of the wealthy are actually very poor spiritually. While their bank accounts are large, their hearts are small. Certainly there are some wealthy people that have big hearts too.

I don't own a television because I refuse to have my mind polluted. But I catch snippets of what's on TV when I'm out and about. It's hard not to. The putrid vessels are everywhere. Anyway, it's all economy this, economy that! Let's figure out a way to get people to spend more. Why?! To make jobs? Again this only points to making people's purpose consumption. We need to sell stuff so someone has a job working in a factory making the junk.

Perhaps we need to reevaluate what our objective is. I think we should consume less. it's an addiction like eating or smoking too much. It winds up being destructive.

It's Late

I can't fall asleep.

i been sick all week.

And tired as a sumbitch

Now I had a good day of work taught two yoga classes, won two chess matches and read a bunch of books. How frackin cultural...lol. I am really energized now. I think all this blowing snot out of my face has opened up portholes in my brain. Yea... Something was definitely blocked up and now I am thinking quite clear and it is very nice. I think part of the catalyst for this occurence is my recent enrollment in a physics class.

I have been interested in physics for some time now. I wasn't always interested in physics. Like in high school I could care less, but somewhere along the way I began to find it fascinating. Somehow it relates to me spiritually. A lot of the notable physicists through time have been very spiritual people. I think the simple process of wondering how things work is very elevated. And in these days with quantum mechanics and cosmology physicists are wondering about things from the infinitely large to the infinitely small. And this is something that I have always loved.

I don't remember a time when I have ever been so intellectually motivated. I have been reading books on chess, string theory, Feynmann, e-commerce, and, Bill Bryson, to name a few. I read a simple Chess openings for idiots book and the simple theory it taught me in the first couple chapters was enough to give me the advantage against a long time chess adversary. I am inching my way out of the realm of novice.

My opinions on Health Insurance

This may get a little heavy here. I've been hearing people whine and complain about issues with health insurance for a while now. Of course there is the whole thing regarding its situation in america and then there is my personal issues regarding health insurance. I think much of the construct of the modern society we live in is based on fear. This issue is certainly a ripe example. People don't want to die, right? They don't want to be sick, right? Well, if they knew how to live properly they wouldn't die or get sick. At least as often. This should be further developed upon. But you can see the fear here. Since, people have relatively no idea how to live healthily because they are bombarded with stimulation telling them to eat crappy food and so forth, they wind up getting sick. Because thy don't know otherwise this creates ignorance and therefore fear. This is were the insurance companies step in. They come in and charge people a bunch of money for some 'peace of mind.' I'm not even going to address the current screwed up development of the sales of insurance, I am only talking about insurance as a whole.

I should probably tell you something else here that greatly feeds into my opinions and philosiphy. I beleive wholeheartedly in reincarnation. But not in the way that Buhddists do. At least, some buhddists, beleive that living a human life is precious because chances are you will not be human again next time. So charish human life. I come from another standpoint, that you have probably lived at least ten human lives already and chances are if you die you will be human again so it is not so important. I think society today values life far too much. Or maybe the situation is a little more complicated than that. Portions of our society value life while others completely disregard it.

Anyway in the medical community in particular there is a disgrusting grasping at human life. All the people have to live at any cost! Nonsense! they hook old people up to machines and keep them breathing and heavily medicated for as long as possible. Just let 'em die I say. If someone gets sick and can't afford medicine? Let 'em die. I understand that hardly anyone on this planet is going to be able to understand this concept because it is much too spiritual and detached. People live crude existances where they get very emotionally attached to their cats and relatives and so forth. That is fine, I do too. But I also know I will meet them again. You have to look at the big picture. Maybe someone is meant to die. If People can't take care of themselves, and they get in situations which make them sick than that is their fault. I should like it if true health was more readily available, but unfortunately medical industry has such a hold on things that if you mess with it too much they're gonna mess you up. They are greedy and care mostly about making profits and less about if someone is well.

Anyway, here might be the most important part. Connection to supreme consciousness. This is another way of saying God I suppose. It is the beautiful substance that isn't substance. It is the beginning of all that is and all that isn't It is a perfect paradox and also defies paradox. Obviously this "God thing" is very tricky to describe. But I tell you that when you focus your mind on it(and it can be painful) bad habits slough off and your beingness begins to shine. I'm not talking about God in the Christian sense. A more universal something. Not a person. It is the everything and nothing at once. The divine spark. This is my insurance.

Atom Bomb and 9/11

I'm trying to provide a little perspective here.

I am truly sorry to anyone who has friends or family that died in 9/11, but we have to look at the big picture here. If Afghanistan is terrorist than we, USA, are exponentially worse terrorist with the Bombing of Japan. You know, August 6, 1945! Probably not. No one around here gives a fuck about anyone else. Everyone chattering away nine eleven this and nine eleven that. Oh, jeeze, its real fuckin memorable, and its real catchy too! It's like it was designed by a marketing agency.

A couple of buildings fell over. What about when all the people in two entire cities were DISINTEGRATED?!?! Then all of their ancestors get to be sick for who knows how long because of the nuclear radiation. There is no excuse! There is no excuse for what we did! There is no excuse for dropping the atom bomb. Everyone wants to cry about 9/11 just because it happened to us. Selfish.

A perfect example is when I was putting on a performance where I was playing improvised jazz music. We were supposed to improvise based on the emotions we felt from imagery that was projected behind the band. We included a picture of the the trade center collapsing and another of the mushroom cloud. The people hosting the event wouldn't allow us to use to picture of the trade center. But sure enough when the picture of the Atom bomb came up, they thought that was just the coolest damn thing that ever happened. WTF! Those people were probably even old enough to have been alive during that time.

It makes me sleep better at night knowing that a common mentality is, "yea for me and fuck everyone else!" ain't that fucking wholesome?

Vocals & Polarity

I have been a talented musician for quite some time. I could always play many instruments. I love sound. I often described it as being like magic because it is something that you can create but cannot see or touch. I recent years I have spent a lot of energy working on my voice. This seemed a little trickier to me than playing piano, guitar, drums, or pretty much any instrument. Although I could sing pretty well, I didn't consider myself as masterful because the things I could sing weren't as intricate as the things I could play. This bothered me. So I worked.

And worked

And worked

Anyways, I often look at things in terms of opposites. Like light and dark, hard and soft, crude and subtle. Just recently I have been considering the factors that differentiate between speaking and listening. These are both part of communication. Although I am good at both i think I am more inclined to listen. I am very good listener and have very sensitive ears. How these two parts of communication differ is that speaking is active and listening is passive. With speaking the sound is going out (external) with listening the sound is going in (internal).

I have discovered that a good singer must do both simultaneously. Speaking and listening at the same time. Here the performer must pay attention to sound both entering and exiting their head. This is very different from normal conversation where you do these alternately. You speak, wait and listen while the other person speaks, then you speak again. In music you must be constantly listening to what the other performers are 'saying' while you are saying your piece for a real cohesive song.

Good Training

did some serious Kettlebell training with my good buddy, Justin Yesterday. One thing I really like about Justin in that he is seriously into pushing the boundaries. Even if a little pain is involved, there are great levels of ability to accomplish.

Two days prior to this lifting session I got a new personal record with a 40K Kettlebell. That's around 88lbs. for you die hard americans...lol. I completed four snatches on each side in a row. Previously I would mostly do singles with this weight and maybe a double if i was feeling fiesty. My shoulders are still sore.

Yesterday Justin, John, and I stood in a circle, playing catch with fucking 40K! We tossed this around and the game was, you caught the bell, did one excercise with it, and passed it along. Both of hands were bleeding by the end. Fierce!!! Along with doing snatches, cleans, overhead squats, I also worked on palm cleans, where you swing the bell up, flip it, and catch it on the round side with your palm, then you may either do a waiter press, or simply flip it up catch the handle and swing it through. I was not tempted to do a waiter press with 40K but I was able to do the palm clean on each side which is very satisfying.